Mid Day

Everyone thinks my guy is obnoxious

I want to adopt a child but my folks are not too keen

My sleeping disorder is proving to be a disaster

My guy is such a flirt!

My girlfriend is obsessed with Adele's music

I want to get married but my boyfriend isn't...

'I can't do anything due to my ailing mother-in-law'

I like to click women with rings and painted toes...

I am still in touch with my ex!

My mother hardly talks to me

My girlfriend finds everything wrong with my music

Is my husband a victim of black magic?

My son has suddenly become very rude

My landlady tries to get fresh with me

Dear Diana,
I'm a 25-year old Delhite who recently moved to Mumbai. I've got no complaints and am adjusting quite well. I have got a good job and am making new friends too. Everything is well except for my landlady who is a bit weird. She keeps looking for excuses to meet me when I'm alone in my room. Her moves are very suggestive as she keeps touching me for no reason. Maybe it's her personality but since she's married, I don't wish to create problems for me or her family. Everybody I've talked to find these recurring episodes humorous whereas I find myself distinctly uncomfortable in her company.
- Prayaag

Dear Prayaag,
It appears that your landlady is one bored, unhappy homemaker who is looking for some fun. May be she has targetted you as a fine catch. It is best to ignore her and avoid unnecessary contact. May be initially you were extra nice to her considering she was your landlady, so she mistook your genuine concern and friendliness for something else. Just let her be and when you feel she is heading to 'touch' or 'brush past' you (as you say!) pretend to be busy, or that you have to make an important call or in a rush to go out. After a while, she will give up. She will realise that she is getting no attention from you. If you find her really irritating, when your contract deal is over with her, you could look for a new place far away from your present location.

I found pornographic CDs in my son's room

Dear Diana,
I'm a middle-aged single mother of a 18-year-old boy. Since I've got a full-time job I try my best to juggle my personal and professional life. The reason I'm writing to you is I recently found some pornographic CDs in my son's room. I know I shouldn't be nosy as he's in college and is pretty mature but I just can't get myself to accept his interest in such stuff. I don't know whether I should confront him about it or just overlook this as a part of his growing up days. I don't want him to feel distressed either. Can you tell me whether it's a big deal or not?
- Dinah

Illustration/ Satish Acharya

Dear Dinah,
I can understand your situation but look at it this way that your son is not doing things at the sly. The fact that he has brought the CDs home, and is fully aware that you might find it, is a clear indication that he does not want to hide things. He could have watched the blue film at a friends house or in some seedy video parlour and you may have never known. It is best to ignore it, if you confront him he will get agitated as to why you are going through his stuff. This is all part of a guy's growing up years interest. You need to worry only if he becomes obsessed with such movies. I am sure that this is just a one off thing. If you repeatedly find such CDs then you can ask him, for now it is best to let it be.

I'm a fresher struggling to adjust to officedom

Dear Diana,
I'm a 21 year-old who recently got a job. My colleagues are veterans in the field. Amid them, I mostly find myself out of place though I try hard to mix in with the crowd to learn the ropes. Sometimes it's depressing. The reason being groupism that is visibly prevalent on the office floor. It's a daily affair. And I don't like to take sides. Maybe this is so as every little thing is pretty new to me. But backbiting and cribbing is something I can't be a party to. We used to come across about dog-eat-dog world and cutthroat in college and now I'm experiencing this first hand. Please dispense some survival tips for rookies like me.
- Sidrah

Illustration/ Satish Acharya

Dear Sidrah,
I can understand how you feel but this is part of what you have to go through at a new workplace. It's best for you to concentrate on your job and do it to the best of your capabilities. Groupism and favouritism is something that is part and parcel of almost every office. You will have to live with it however tough and frustrating it is to contend with. Whenever a fresher joins, he or she feels the same unless the boss is known to him or her. Get along with your work and maintain a cheerful disposition. Remember even the veterans were rookies once upon a time. Suggest ideas, be helpful and show that you are interested in what you are doing. It will take time, a lot of time for them to take you seriously but they will and the only way to show them is through sincere hard work and no cause for complaints.

I am a woman trapped in a male body

Dear Diana,
I'm a 21-year-old guy who, of late, has taken to wearing feminine clothes and make-up. My friends make fun of my androgynous personality. Even my parents are striking a word of caution. They want me to 'mend' my ways but I don't know how. I see nothing wrong with the way I am. The reason I'm writing to you is, for the last few days, I've been even giving sex operation a serious thought. This might be my last chance to mental freedom. But it is also the cause of my depression. I wish I was born a girl but I guess I'll make sure I'll die as one.
-- K

Illustration/ Satish Acharya

Dear K,
You need big time counselling before you undergo a sex change operation. It requires immense psychological and emotional help. To begin with find people in a similar situation, their advice may be useful. You will also have to explain to your parents and friends the need to. It is not going to be easy task at all. A sex change operation is also extremely expensive. First seek proper medical help before you plan anything. At the same time, you have to ponder what made you suddenly feel like a woman. Was there any particular incident or reason? It appears from your letter that you did not find anything amiss in you all these years. So obviously your folks will react. You need to sit down and clear your muddled mind before taking any drastic step.

My wife is cheating on me!

Dear Diana,
I'm a 29-year-old guy. I have this nagging suspicion that my wife is cheating on me. My doubts are due to the way she has been behaving of late. We are both hardworking professionals who barely get a weekend to spend together as a couple. Interestingly, there was a time when she was keen on having a child but I kept postponing it. Now, she does not even bring up the topic for conversation. She also gets very angry if I fidget with her cellphone or laptop. She wasn't this way before. I partly blame myself for neglecting her but now I want to set things straight. Then why is she behaving very distant?
- Shybu

Illustration/ Satish Acharya

Dear Shybu,
You are assuming that she is having an affair. You feel that her changed behavior is because she has hooked up with someone else. But my dear, these are your mere assumptions. She may have given up on you and has resigned to her fate. Due to which she is perhaps behaving like this. She feels there is no point talking about anything with you, that is why she has withdrawn herself. But if you still feel that something is amiss, talk to her. Tell her honestly about what you feel and how you want to make amends. See how she reciprocrates your feelings. I am sure she is waiting for you to make amends.

Leander Paes a sucker for soccer

"AFTER CRICKET football is the next-big-thing in India," says tennis ace Leander Paes, who is the brand ambassador of the All India Football Federation. On a mission to promote soccer in the country, Lee talks to CS about football and fitness:

Soccer shine
Football is the sport of the future in India. With Indians taking so much interest in FIFA, and schools making efforts to promote football at grassroot levels, this sport is here to stay. In fact, some of the school teams play football that's almost at par with the professional level. Even international coaches are now coming down to India to train kids. It's a great thing!

Light on the pocket
Football isn't an expensive game at all. One doesn't need a typical ground setting, uniform or equipment to master this game. When I was learning football, I played and practised it in the bylanes and gallis of Kolkata. I salute the street football culture and want it to grow in India. All our soccer heroes played street football in their younger days. A game of soccer only needs a small lane, four bricks for goal posts and a 22-inches leather ball.

Fitness first
Football and basketball promote a child's overall development as they are agility-oriented sports. They make for a great workout as one has to have unilateral movements, run in four directions, become excellent in diagonals because one has to dive or jump. One of my favourite forms of warm-up is juggling hacky sacks. I have learnt that from football.

My sister-in-law is behaving strangely

Dear Diana,
I recently got married and my husband is loving and caring. My in-laws, too, are pretty cool. The only irritant in the house is my teenage sister-in-law who somewhat doesn't seem to approve of me. The worst part is she doesn't even try to conceal her disdain for me. Every time I try to break the ice, she turns obnoxious and doesn't respond at all. I don't know what her problem is. Even my husband doesn't have a clue. But I just hate the environment she creates at home. I'd love to strike a friendship with her as she's quite younger to me but all my attempts have been futile. What should I do?
- Nandini

Illustration/ Satish Acharya

Dear Nandini,
As your sister-in-law is young, she was used to being the baby of the house with everyone pandering to her whims and fancies. Now your presence in the house is affecting her which is making her behave in such a manner. There is no reason for her to act in such an atrocious way. She has her rightful place and so do you. She perhaps feels that she has to vie for the attention of her brother and parents with you around. As she is in no mood to listen, just let her be. Be nice to her but at the same time don't overdo it. If you react, she will do more. At the moment she is looking for an altercation and confrontation which you should avoid at any cost. When she hopefully realises that she is not going to get anywhere with her stance, she will have to change her attitude. So just be cool with lots of patience.